


Unplanned

by NocturnalUnicorn



Series: The Branchverse [1]
Category: Dexter's Laboratory
Genre: Branchverse AU, Dexter has no filter, Everyone Is An Adult, F/M, Fluff, Future Fic, Happy Ending, I don't even want kids why did I write this, Mandark is half-Japanese, Mild Sexual Content, Oceanbird and Windbear's Hippy bullshit, Romcom bullshit, Unplanned Pregnancy, because that's where babies come from, embarrassing family members, it's only vaguely mentioned, like really mild, nobody bangs, people just mention/vaguely recall the act of banging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-29
Updated: 2016-09-29
Packaged: 2018-08-18 11:00:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8159813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NocturnalUnicorn/pseuds/NocturnalUnicorn
Summary: Dee Dee finds out that she is pregnant, but how is she supposed to tell her evil genius of a husband? Time to call in the weird extended family!





	

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is un-betaed, so please kindly let me know if you discover any typos or grammatical errors.  
> Special thanks to Marialdalelover over at tumblr for being my biggest cheerleader while I wrote this!

Dee Dee almost never woke up before her husband, so she was shocked when she opened her eyes to find him very much asleep. Mandark, known by his colleagues as Dr. Mark Astronominov, was the picture of exhaustion: his head leaned lazily to one side and his shiny black hair was a crown of chaos. Dee Dee couldn’t help but smile a bit- even though Mandark had cultivated an image of intelligence and sophistication in his waking life, he looked almost boyish in sleep. She wasn’t surprised that he was so tired. He had spent most of the previous night typing up the results of some of his research and worrying about his rapidly falling stocks. 

Dee Dee glanced at the digital clock on the nightstand. The numbers read 8:30. On a normal day, the couple would be rushing out the door to go to work- Mandark to Huber University’s physics lab and Dee Dee to her dance studio. Today was different. It was Saturday and they both had a day off. If they really wanted to, they could lay in bed all day. Honestly, that didn’t seem like a bad idea. The bed was warm and Mandark’s chest looked inviting. She rolled over and laid her cheek against the soft, red cotton of his shirt and draped her arm over his bony center. Mandark cracked open his narrow eyes, blinked a few times, and squinted at Dee Dee. He reached a long, thin arm towards the nightstand and put on his round glasses. The poor guy had such a bad case of astigmatism that he needed them to see his wife properly. 

“Mornin’ sleepyhead!’ Dee Dee giggled against his chest. 

Mandark gave a tired, crooked smile and ran his hand through Dee Dee’s daffodil blond hair. “Good morning, Dee Dee,” he said, his voice still thick with sleep. 

Dee Dee looked up at her husband’s face. She wasn’t book smart like he was, but she knew how to read people. Right now, he looked as if he didn’t fully believe that she was there. Dee Dee remembered Mandark talking about some alternate universe that they had branched away from long ago (she didn’t fully understand what this meant- quantum physics made her head hurt). Apparently, Mandark had visited this universe using the Nobel Prize winning Interdimensional Transport Module that he and her brother had built together through reluctant team work. There, an alternate Mandark lived as “a lonely, obese fool” without her. Dee Dee wasn’t sure what to make of this discovery. She had fallen in love with the scientist her senior year in high school and couldn’t see herself with anyone else. Also, Mandark was borderline underweight, so the image of an obese version of her husband seemed downright surreal. She really needed to remind him to eat while he was engrossed in research. 

“Why’re you looking at me like that?” asked Dee Dee, even though she already knew the answer.

“Because,” Mandark replied, “you’re really here with me.”

Dee Dee swore that she had never felt so warm. She shifted her body on top of her husband’s so that she could get a better look at his face. His eyes were now open and filled with their usual alert energy. 

She reached her hand down and poked his prominent nose, “where else would I be, silly?”

Mandark grinned and pushed his wife’s hand aside, “You’re so cute. Forget what I said earlier, I had a strange dream is all.”

Dee Dee was unperturbed at having her hand pushed away and instead opted to run her hand through Mandark’s hair, “wanna tell me about it?” 

Mandark gripped the small of Dee Dee’s back and stroked it. 

“Not particularly,” he said “dreams have no bearing on reality. There’s no point. Let’s just relax.”

Dee Dee sighed. She knew not to press further. Instead, she leaned in so that they were nose to nose.

“I’d like that,” she replied as she moved down further. She sighed as her husband’s hand roamed from her back to the back of her head. She could feel the wet heat of his breath as she kissed him. Mandark returned the kiss with an odd amount of fervor for a man who had just woken, but Dee Dee wasn’t complaining. Instead, she leaned in to deepen the kiss. 

The kiss didn’t last as long as either of them would have liked, however. The interruption started with a slimy, creeping pressure at the bottom of Dee Dee’s stomach and worked its way into full blown nausea. She broke their kiss, rolled out of bed and rushed to the adjoining bathroom to spill the scant contents of her stomach into the toilet. 

\-------------

“You vomited three times this morning, are you sure that you’re not ill?” Mandark asked from his seat across the kitchen table, a coffee mug steaming in his hand.

“I dunno,” replied Dee Dee “I feel pretty normal, except for the throwing up part. Maybe the sushi that we got last night was bad.”

“Nonsense. That sushi was well prepared and authentic. Maybe you got sick because it wasn’t some of that white people sushi with cream cheese.” Mandark had an impish hint of a grin on his face as he spoke.

“Honey,” Dee Dee replied, “you are half half Russian. That’s in Europe. Where white people live.”

“You raise a fair point,” said Mandark, “but I’m also half Japanese.”

Dee Dee laughed, “I still think it was the sushi.”

In all honesty, she hoped that it was. Being sick would mean that she wouldn’t be able to do any dancing. It also meant that Mandark would worry and hover over her like a concerned mother. She didn’t like it when her husband worried. 

“You look pale,” Mandark said, wrinkling his brow and looking serious again, “and you didn’t want to eat breakfast. Are you sure that this is only food poisoning?”

“I’m fine,” Dee Dee said, “I promise. Don’t worry about me.”

Mandark reached across the table and grabbed Dee Dee’s hand. He ran his thumb over the gold ring that adorned it, “tell me if it gets any worse.”

“Excuse me sir,” said a metallic, controlled voice. 

The couple’s moment was interrupted by none other than TS 453: Mandark’s personal robotic assistant. The red, steel-plated machine had rolled in with some urgency, holding Mandark’s smartphone in its claw-like hand. 

“Great,” said Mandark, his voice even more nasal than usual, “what could possibly be  _ so  _ important that you  _ had  _ to disrupt breakfast?”

“It’s the department head,” the robot replied.

Mandark groaned and tore his phone away from TS 453. “Hello?”

Dee Dee watched her husband’s mouth form a taught line. She could hear the sound of an older woman’s voice emitting from the phone’s speaker, but couldn’t quite make out what was being said. 

“Fantastic,” Mandark said with a tone that meant that whatever he had just heard was not fantastic in the slightest. He wasn’t able to say much more because the person on the other line simply wouldn’t slow down. 

Dee Dee found herself tapping her manicured nails against the table and yawning theatrically. Mandark shot her an exasperated but not unkind glance.

“Those frat boys had the audacity to break into Hawk Hall again? It’ll be a pretty big inconvenience for me, but I have some extras in my home lab. I’ll be over in thirty minutes.” With that, Mandark hung up the phone and shoved it into the front pocket of his t-shirt. “Sorry Dee Dee, I have to bring a replacement electrocore down to work. Dr. Carlyle says there was a vandalism incident and the other one is in about five-hundred pieces on the floor.”

“Awwww, why couldn’t that nerdy old lady call someone else?” Dee Dee whined, “we were gonna go see that art showcase by that guy who makes all those twisty glass sculptures.” Dee Dee moved her arms in a twirling motion for added effect.

Mandark laughed a bit, “I think we’ll have to go tomorrow. And don’t worry- I’m a Nobel laureate. Soon I’ll have Carlyle’s job and  _ I’ll _ get to ruin people’s weekends.”

Dee Dee smirked, “not if Dexter beats you to it!”

“Your brother? Unlikely,” replied Mandark.

“Better keep those skills sharp and that research fresh,” Dee Dee sing-songed, “You should probably go get dressed. You can’t go to work in your pajamas!”

“Point taken,” replied Mandark, “I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

\-------------

Dee Dee couldn’t bring herself to be angry at her husband. After all, it wasn’t his fault that he was called back to work. As a high-profile choreographer, Dee Dee knew all about unpredictable workplaces, but she was still disappointed that their plans for the day were ruined. Not wanting to spend the next few hours alone, she had opted to pull out her phone and see if any of her friends were available to hang out. Sadly, it seemed like everyone had something going on. 

“Figures,” groaned Dee Dee, staring at her phone screen. 

When a second wave of nausea hit her, Dee Dee entertained the idea that Mandark was right- it wasn’t the sushi. 

\-------------

Dee Dee stared owlishly at the result: positive. The blocky little letters on the pregnancy test read “positive”. 

“I’m going to have a baby,” she said to no one in particular, her voice echoing off of the clean, white bathroom tile. She was happy- she had always liked kids- but still wondered how it had happened. Due to their respective careers, Dee Dee and Mandark had decided around seven years ago to put starting a family on hold. They had always been very careful and Dee Dee never missed a pill. Or did she? She tried to think back to a time when there may have been a lapse in their usual cautious routine. She recalled the night of the Nobel Prize ceremony. Mandark had looked so handsome in (and out of) his tailored, black suit. They had both been so eager to continue their celebration that evening that Dee Dee must have forgotten. That was the only explanation. 

She had to tell Mandark that he was going to be a dad! He would be over the moon, wouldn’t he? Suddenly, Dee Dee wasn’t so sure. She had only really talked to her husband about children in the contexts of “prevention” and “later”. Was now a bad time? Would he feel trapped? Scared? Dee Dee needed advice- advice from someone who had been through this sort of thing before. She picked up the phone and called her mother.

“Hello? Dee Dee?” her mother’s vice rang clear through the phone speaker. It was as familiar and comforting as a warm blanket. 

“Hi mom, it’s me,” replied Dee Dee, “I’ve got some, uh, really crazy news.”

“Well, what is is sweetheart?”

Dee Dee took a deep breath, “I’m pregnant.”

Her mom let out an excited scream, “oh my god! That’s wonderful news! Does Mark, er, Mandark know?”

“That’s kinda why I called you. I’m like, scared he’ll be mad or something.”

“That's silly, Dee Dee. Why would he be mad?”

“We were trying to wait…”

“I promise he’ll be excited. I’m a mom, I can just kinda sense these things. Hold on, lemme get your dad. I’ll be right over.”

\-------------

It wasn’t just Dee Dee’s parents that arrived. Dexter and Douglass also showed up and promptly sat on the living room love-seat against matching pillows wearing matching engagement rings and matching looks of amusement. 

Oceanbird and Windbear had also stumbled in, barefoot and too-young looking to be the parents of a thirty-something college professor. 

Lalavava was there as well, perched in the corner of the room like a soft-bodied raven. 

“Mom,” said Dee Dee with exasperation, “you didn’t have to invite the entire family!”

“She’s right, hon,” said her father, adjusting his rectangular glasses, “we don’t need those tree-huggers here.”

“Hey now,” said Windbear, throwing his long, black hair over his shoulder, “it takes two to conceive a child, and I believe that our son is sharing in this miracle as well.”

“That’s enough,” said Dee Dee’s mom, placing her hands on her wide hips, “this is about Dee Dee. Be nice to each other for once.”

“Yeah,” replied Dee Dee, “what she said. You guys are  _ embarrassing _ .”

“So,” Lalavava said as she stepped into the center of the living room and put an arm around Dee Dee, “got anything you’d like to share with the class?”

“You guys already know what’s going on, uh, do you have like, any questions or something?”

“My only question pertains to how my stuuuuupid brother-in-law managed to impregnate you.” said Dexter, folding his now very long arms. Dee Dee could hear the undercurrent of laughter in her brother’s voice. It was too bad that area rugs weren’t carnivorous, because it would be nice if the one under her feet swallowed her up right that moment.

“Dex, leave it,” said Douglass, nudging his fiance’s ribs, “I don’t think your sister wants you to try to be funny right now.”

“Point taken,” replied Dexter, almost sounding annoyed, “nonetheless, I must say that I am happy we are going to be uncles.”

“To answer your question Dexter,” said Windbear, “I imagine that my son managed to do so the old fashioned way.”

“Do what, dad?” grunted Lalavava.

“Why, conceive a child with this lovely lady standing before us. Their love made this possible.”

Dexter turned to Douglass, wide eyed. Douglass, in turn, made a gagging noise. 

“God Windbear,” said Dee Dee’s dad, “could you please spare me the details about what your son did to my daughter!?”

Dee Dee felt her jaw fall open. Her neck was beginning to drip with sweat. This could  _ not _ be happening. 

“Sex is a perfectly natural human experience. Your disgust with it tells me that you have been stifled by our repressive, puritanical society. Just let go, man,” said Windbear.

“Um, what I think my husband means is that he doesn’t want to hear the specifics of what our son-in-law and daughter, ya know,  got up to. We’re here to talk about the, er, results.” said Dee Dee’s mom, ever the level-headed matriarch. 

“I agree,” replied Oceanbird, nodding in the slow, calculated way that her son often did, “usually, I would object to your husband’s obsession with his daughter’s supposed purity because it’s patriarchal and sexist, but that isn’t what Dee Dee needs right now.”

“You got that right,” replied Dee Dee, “I need all of you to shut up and listen. I’m kinda scared to tell Mandark because we were gonna wait to start a family.”

“Just tell him,” replied Lalavava flatly. 

“But I need more time,” said Dee Dee.

“Don’t make excuses,” said Dexter, his voice as fiery as his hair, “just call up the moron and tell him.”

“But,” said Dee Dee.

“TELL HIM!” 

The shout came from everyone in the room in almost creepy unison. Dee Dee was beginning to think that they were right.

“Tell who what?” asked a nasal voice. 

Shit.

Mandark was back from work and standing in the living room like an ill-timed apparition. Could this day get any more awkward?

Mandark shook out his ponytail and blinked, “Why is our extended family sitting in our living room?” he asked.

“Dee Dee,” said Dee Dee’s mom gently, “is there something that you would like to say?”

Dee Dee took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling as though the lights hanging there would somehow give her the strength to confess. “I’m pregnant,” she said.

Everything stopped.

It almost seemed like no one was breathing.

Douglass ran a hand through his thick, brown hair. 

The air conditioner sighed to life. 

Mandark broke into a wide grin and pulled Dee Dee into his arms, “T-that’s amazing. Why didn’t you tell me first?”

“I was scared,” replied Dee Dee.

“Why on earth would you be afraid to tell me?” asked Mandark.

“I was scared that you’d be mad. That you weren’t ready.”

“Darling,” said Mandark, “I was actually going to ask if  _ you  _ were ready. I’d say we’re financially stable enough to have a child, wouldn’t you?”

“Yes,” replied Dee Dee, unable to say much more. Her tear ducts started leaking on their own accord. 

Mandark rubbed his wife’s back in slow circles, “you just made my day so much better.”

“Awwwwww” said Dexter. Surprising though it was, Dee Dee could detect no sarcasm in his voice. Still, her brother was obnoxious.

“Shut up,” said Dee Dee.

Dexter smiled and shrugged, “Sorry. It was a reflex, I suppose.”

\-------------

Nine months and one c-section later, Dexter had the same “reflex” reaction when he got to hold Margot Astronominov, his new niece. 

  
  



End file.
